Speaking in a manner fit for the occasion
Recently I preached a message from Ephesians 4:17-24. The title of which was, “Our calling requires us to live like a child of the King”, the over all theme of the message was that at the time of salvation we put aside our old ways and live a new life in accordance with our high calling. This high calling in Christ demands that we act in a manner worthy of it reflecting the nature of our God and King. Paul writing to the gentile believers in Ephesus writes, “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentles do in the futility of their minds… You were taught in (Christ), as the truth is in Jesus, to put off our old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness….29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (Eph. 4:17, 21b-24, 29-30 emphasis added). Shortly after that message, during our men’s Bible study, I began to think more about how verses 29 and 30 relate to our speech. I think we all understand that Paul is telling us to avoid vulgarities, crude language, sexual innuendoes, dirty jokes degrading speech and the like, but if that is all we see then we have missed half of what verse 29 is telling us.
Verse 29 not only says that we are to avoid corrupting talk, but that we are to speak words that fit the occasion and build up fellow believers. This then, would mean that corrupting talk would also include that which does not build up but instead tares down. When we fail to observe this command we not only grieve the Holy Spirit we also quench Him, stealing the fire of other believers, side lining them from the aspirations God had placed on their hearts. In doing so we have potentially destroyed their ministry, or at least caused a huge set back in what they could have accomplished for God. How many other lives will be effected not only in the here and now but in eternity as well because we chose not to build up but to tear down? Often you see this in the middle of a sermon or Bible lesson. The preacher or teacher, is delivering a profound message hearts are being stirred, and the Holy Spirit is at work, then the speaker tells a joke or makes an badly timed comment, and all that they have accomplished up to that point goes out the window. As a result of that inopportune comment people become distracted from the message, their fire is quenched and the Holy Spirit is not only grieved but halted in the great work He had started. But, the same thing can happen after the sermon and even outside of the church when we as believers fail to obey this command.
Case in point, on two separate occasions to two saints after I preached this message the very thing I am speaking of happened immediately after services had let out. One occurred in the sanctuary and the other in the parking lot. On both occasions it had been a great day in the Lord. God had blessed the messages and many come forward to pray. People’s hearts were stirred and they were on fire for God. These two saints had decided to overcome some difficulties in their lives, to let go of past troubles, and make a difference for God when their spirits were quenched by corrupting words. Someone on each occasion decide to allow Satan to use them by not choosing words that fit the occasion to build up but words that tear down. Both of these saints were confronted by someone who was not happy with a particular ministry in the church, likely because they were not getting what they wanted and as a result attacked their fellow believers with corrupt words. In one case the saint being confronted was not even over the ministry. This saint was informed that there was a problem in a particular ministry and that “THEY NEEDED to fix it!”. In the other case the ministry leader was berated by someone who had not been to church in over a month. Due to their extended absence they missed all the announcements concerning an up coming event, which they knew about, and missed the dead line to participate. They refused to accept responsibility for missing the event and instead blamed the ministry leader. In both cases these saints got up from their pews on fire for God ready to serve Him, and both wound up going home wounded, dejected, and sullen from being beaten by words from another believer, words which were not fit for the occasion. The sad part is that if problems actually existed in these ministries words could have been used to build up and encourage these saints. Instead of confronting these saints, help and advice could have been offered to fix the problems, advice which had the best interest of the ministries and these leaders in mind. I am proud to say that both of these saints choose the higher road, and used words which were fit for the occasion, instead of words which were corrupt in retaliation.
We have been called to a high calling in Christ and as a result, our lives and our speech must reflect it. The words we use have the power to build up or tear down, to spur other believers on, or discourage them, to draw all men to Christ, or to drive them away. So let us avoid all corrupting talk, but being wise use words which are good for building up and fitting for the occasion, that we may give grace to those who hear and not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom we were sealed for the day of redemption.
