The value of a virtuous mother / woman
I hope you have or are doing something wonderful for your mother and the mother of your children this mother’s day. Mothers are an indispensable part of our lives. They not only gave us life, but raised us and helped make us who we are. Throughout history their value has been recognized. Abraham Lincoln said, “No man is poor who has had a godly mother.” A Spanish proverb says, “An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.” And of course, the proverb we are so familiar with, “Behind every great man is a great woman”. However, no woman can be a great woman or a great mother like the woman these proverbs have inspired unless she is a godly and wise woman. The greatness of a woman and the impact she will have not only on her family but society as well, is directly proportional to her walk with God. Hard work, dedication, devotion and love can turn an inadequate woman in to a good mother, but only, a woman who knows Christ as her Lord and Savior, a Proverbs 31 woman, can become a truly great mother / woman. Women who model the Proverbs 31 woman are of immeasurable value to all those who come in contact with them especially their families and in particular their husbands. The writer of Proverb 31 extols the value of a godly and wise woman noting that she is the most valuable thing a husband has and enriches his life and the life of her family beyond measure. Men take note, if your wife even comes close to the following description of a Proverb 31 woman, you are blessed beyond measure. I know because mine does.
First, the Prov. 31 woman is of immeasurable value because she is rare (Prov. 31:10-12).
She is not impossible to find, she does exist but Proverb 31 women are few and far between, yet according to Tom Hawkins “The search for wisdom and for the noble wife are both worth the time and effort.” Why is she so rare? Because she is virtuous and capable. She is no ordinary woman but a woman of excellence to be highly esteemed and treasured by her husband because of her character, grace and ability to manage the household. Prov. 19: 14, says, “House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD.” A godly wife, a Prov. 31 wife, and mother is nothing less than a precious perfect gift form God. Her great value is a result of her rarity and is further enhanced because she is trustworthy (31:11a), and enriches her husband’s life (31:11b-12). Truly she is of more value than rubies, diamonds, gold or any amount of money. Proverbs 18 and 12 both testify to the enrichment she brings to the life of her husband. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (18:22), “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones” (12:4). My wife happens to be my crown. Men if yours is then first thank God, then thank your wife. Ladies, if this is you, then I thank God for you, and know that you are fulfilling God’s role for you regardless of whether or not your husband or family is aware of your value, be sure that one day, they will be.
Secondly, a Proverbs 31 woman is of immeasurable value because she is a hard worker (31:13-19). She provides for her families needs (13-15). But not just with any old clothing or food. She provides them with the best clothing and the best food she can afford. Furthermore, she oversees their schedules making sure everyone is where they need to be when they need to be there. She also contributes to the family finances (v. 16-18). She is a woman who takes the wise counsel of her husband and uses her time and talents to stretch the family budget as well as contributing to it. No, she may not have a job outside of the home, but she like the Prov. 31 woman, is industrious, making and selling what she produces with her hands, using her time, talents, and abilities wisely to benefit both her family and others. As a result of her hard work, she not only saves her family money, but is paid by others for her skill, knowledge, and the merchandise she makes. This is a woman who should be greatly trusted by her husband, like the husband in the Porv. 31 who had so much faith in his wife that he allowed her to go out and buy land to farm and lease completely on her own. This kind of trust only comes with time and a track record of wise decision making. But the Prov. 31 woman is a woman with just that kind of record.
Thirdly, she is of immeasurable value because she is compassionate (31:20). She is not so busy that she has no time for ministry and therefore helps the poor and needy. She realizes that the advantages she has been given in life are not for her own self indulgence, but an occasion to minister and bless those in need. Women like these are often the back bone of our church, and without them its ministry would be greatly hindered. Prov. 11:25, says “The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself”.
She is also of immeasurable value because she is prepared (31:21-22). She is not lazy or lax; she knows what her family will need for the coming days and ensures that they have what they will need. Be it food to eat, or cloths to wear, cool clothing in the summer, and coats in the winter. But she never fails to take care of her self (31:22). Not only does she provide for her basic needs, but she adorns herself and takes care of herself. She not only dresses like the queen of her king’s castle, but she looks like it as well. Ladies, never neglect yourselves. Dress like the beautiful queen that your are with in the confines of your budget. Pamper yourself, get your manicures and pedicures, go to the salon, and take time to put on your make up. Yes I know it is nice from time to time to just be a slacker and sit around in your PJs with no make up on and your hair pulled back. But you know as well as I do, that you always feel better after you have fixed your hair, put on some make up and dressed nicely, you are a queen after all why not look like it?
A Proverbs 31 woman is of immeasurable value because she garners respect for her husband (31:23).
Ladies, your reputation precedes you. Everyone in town including the leading men in the town knew of the woman in this proverb and what a great and valuable woman she was. This spoke volumes about her husband. In our day we would say that she could have any man she wanted. Therefore, since she chose him he must be some kind of a man. Likely the same is true of you, and the kind of woman you are affects how people see not only your husband but your children as well. Chances are your husband married up just as I did. As one of my friends put it, “Bubba, you exceeded your punt coverage” what ever that means. He knew that Kim was out of my league and was a great woman. LISTEN UP MEN, any woman who would put up with you, love you, and live with you is a woman out of your league, and “Bubba, you exceed your punt coverage”, so act like it!
Additionally, A Proverbs 31 woman is of immeasurable value because she possesses godly wisdom (24-27). She is wise in her finances and in her character. She follows and lives out the wisdom contained in the proverbs. In doing so she finds strength and dignity and has no fear of the future because she has lived wisely in obedience to the word of God. She is also wise in her speech. Her words contain no gossip, slander, or unkind things. She is a gracious and considerate woman in all her speech. Finally, she is wise in her labor. Unlike the sluggard of the proverbs she is diligent and hard working knowing that the wise woman manages her household well for the benefit of her, her family and the glory of God.
Lastly, she is of immeasurable value because she fears God (31:30-31). Her beauty will never fade because it is inward not outward. Physical beauty fades and passes away, but the beauty of the inner quiet spirit, adorned by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, full of grace, love, and compassion never fades away, it last for all eternity. Because of her high moral character and fear and love of God, she is worthy of reward and praise. There can be no doubt given her life that like the woman in the proverb any woman who matches her character is worthy of a parade in her honor ending in a great celebration with her receiving the key to the city and everyone’s heart.
Tom Hawkins list three things we should note about this woman and any attempt to become her.
1. No young bride can possibly fulfill all that is pictured in this poem before developing the maturity that comes only with time.
2. Perspective is needed is in seeing the complementary roles of the husband and wife
3. All her outside business endeavors are focused on meeting the needs of her family, (provision not success is her motive, we men would do wise to remember this as well)
This woman is the personification of the perfect disciple of Christ, and the wisdom extolled in the book of proverbs. She is not only worth the time it would take any man to find her but the time it takes for any woman to become her. Ladies no matter where you are in life, who you are or what you are like you can become a Proverbs 31 woman, but it will take time, diligence, study and prayer.
A final thought for the men reading this: Bishop Taylor came the closest of anyone to capturing the sentiment of Proverbs 31 when he wrote: “If you are for pleasure, marry. If you prize rosy health, marry. A good wife is heaven’s last best gift to a man; his angel of mercy; minister of graces innumerable; his gem of many virtues; his box of jewels; her voice, his sweetest music; her smiles, his brightest day; her kiss, the guardian of innocence; her arms, the pale of his safety; the balm of his health; the balsam of his life; her industry, his surest wealth; her economy, his safest steward; her lips, his faithful counselors…and her prayers, the ablest advocates of heaven’s blessing on his head.” ( Today in the Word, July, 1989, p. 44.)
Thank God for the Proverbs 31 woman in your life this Mother’s day, and be sure not to forget to thank her as well.
